www.ninetynineballoonstoshare.blogspot.com

freeze the warm heart.

i'm never good at expressing myself nor am i someone who shared her problem. i tend to bottle up my feeling inside that even mummy have a problem understanding her little girl sometimes. maybe its because i'm the oldest among all, i tend to keep my problem to myself and find my own solution without anyone help. in certain ways, it help me mature into someone i'm now.

my babe once said to me, " you don't have any problem ah? never heard you sharing your problem with us. i want to be like you. happy always." i just smile to that remark.

i'm not an angel. i do have my own problem. i do cry. feel angry or upset. but you will never see me cry in front of you. maybe because i trained myself that way. no one even knows when i'm happy or upset. i joke most of the time. laugh and smile like there's alot of good reason for that. in a way, i'm wearing a mask most of the time. yes. the mask. the only time i will remove the mask..when i'm in my room alone and locked. thats when i bear my soul. cry my heart out and laugh at my stupidity after that.

i wanted so much to be that cool/cold girl again. can't be bothered with the world around. build a wall around me and could care less about every other thing. somehow being cold is so much better than warm. simply because the world is freaking too cold outside.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
listening to: hold on by KT Tunstall
mood : tired

if only.

'if only' by KT Tunstall; the song decribe how i feel right now.

Walking around in the days
Out for days now
Talking it up as amazing,
A maze that I’m in.
Looking at the stars for the answers
But all that I found was silence and dirty ground

If only you could see me now
If only you could hear me out
If only it was only me now.

Listen just a little bit harder
The hearts tell the truth
Is it just a pistol on the edge
To keep you moving
You’re looking like you’re looking for something
And now, you’re surrounded by silence, whoa.

If only you could see me now
If only you could hear me out
If only it was only me now.

Silence, silence, silence.
You’re surrounded by
Silence, silence, silence.
You’re surrounded by
Silence, silence, silence.
You’re surrounded by
Silence, silence, silence.

If only you could see me now
If only you could hear me out
If only it was only me now.

If only you could see me now
If only you could hear me out
If only it was only me now.
If only it was only me now.
If only it was only me now.

to express oneself is a difficult task.

Twitter Updates