www.ninetynineballoonstoshare.blogspot.com

its just dreams.

lately, i have one common dream most of the nights.
cool right.
how bout you dream about yourself dying?
i dont know why.
but it seems to be happening all most every night these days.
i got scared at first but now,
i feel nothing.
the dream feels so real.
and i wonder what it means?
it is for real? haha.
keep telling myself it just a dream though.
and i shouldnt think about it as much.
but then again,
what if its a sign?
everyone have to die someday right?
its either you die early or late?
but am i ready?
i wonder.

-----------------------------

my favourite band snapped.=(
am sorry babylove. i know this band means alot to you. =\

fucking lovelove you sayang.

been going out with superman alot.
thanks dear for always being there for me.
one call and you will appear.
despite the fact that you have to cancel,
your plans with the rest alot.
fucking lovelove you sayang.
(dont be over the moon, im calling you sayang because you asked me too and only this once, because i owe you alot for taking alot of your precious time =p)

cancel my plan with the rest and had to call you instead to accompany me the whole day after what happened early. sorry you have to spend your whole sunday with me. hey, but we managed to catch dinner with your friend too right? lol. we went to fish&co for dinner. didnt take pictures cause i didnt bring my camera along. =\

thanks man for always telling me whatever crap you told me. hehe. mm, but can i say something.? you're such a naggy my dear. petty the girl who fancy you. im sure she gonna have bleeding ears 24/7. wagaga. but despite that, you such a good friend. cant say how glad im to have a friend like you. <3

o ya, superman bought me a cute cap the other day after he saw me staring at it for while. thanks dear. =)

the cap cute right?

this is what i do best. cam-whore.

thats me.

am =( but =).

bbq with gamers.

*heresashoutout*:
"HAPPY 24 J.
stay awesome man.
may the road ahead be less bumpy
and more joyful for you.
love you my dear friend.
--------------------------
seriously, i dont know why you're doing this.
why do you have to make mummy cry.
damnit,
you promised you will change.
i trusted you so much,
and you just make me lose my trust in you, again.
--------------------------
body aching and mind cluttered.
but thats not the point.

the rain must have work wonders cause im falling sick anytime soon. i was totally soaked, cold and tired last night. but being with you guys just makes me happy. btw, come to think of it every time we had bbq we always get rained on. but i guess thats what make our bbq special and memorable. besides, most importantly, we enjoyed each other company. =)

even though, the sky was crying like mad yesterday, the bbq actually went well. i went out early to meet kakak first. sorry i was late. the usual me. hehe. went to her house to help carry stuff (know why my bodyaching? lol) and from there we cab to inez home. spend the rest of the day at inez's before we head down to changi beach. o btw, i even managed to ko for 10 minutes on inez's comfortable bed. lol. was fucking tired since i didnt really sleep the day before. we cab down to changi beach from inez's too. lol.

i had fun testing the food and make my stomach full. lol. i wasnt really helping, just went around disturbing people i guess. lol. had so much fun. thanks for the day. am glad i spend the day with all of you. =)

mel&bohan brought kite in hope for a windy day but instead it rain on us as usual and jian zhi tried to show off that he knows how to kite. but unfortunately, like kakak wrote on her blog, 'he must have sailed the kite into some godly being's territory up there because when he came running in our direction rain followed and when he ran off down the road the rain also followed him.' fucking LOL moment.

later at night, we settle down to watch the gang play cards and scrabble . was halfway playing, went the rain got worst. the sky must be really unhappy with all of us. was really into the game and laughing like mad at jian zhi (hes the clown of the group). seriously, what is eeg? snil? (jian zhi you rock man). guess my english is super bad because i really dont know such word exists. wagaga. o, we did something stupid too. we continue playing despite the rain. everyone was holding an umbrella and playing in the rain with a pathetic torchlight to see and make up the words. haha. not until the sky decide enough is enough, ive got to make this mad children run for their life -- only then that we all abandoned everything at the bbq site and run for a fucking shelter which didnt help at all because everyone was soaked. hehe.

mm, kakak camera spoiled and therefore no cam-whore picture. kakak was sad and im too. lol. its ok dear. we cam-whore next time ok. so no pictures to record our fun moments. =\

anyway, thank to all of you for being there for me. thanks for making me laugh, smile and happy. thanks kakak and inez for the hugs. thanks for assuring me everything gonna be ok. i feel loved. hehe. sorry was kinda shy. cause its the 1st time i look weak and fragile infront of all of you. =(

HEARTYOUALL.

am fucking =(.

i saw you cry this morning
and i couldnt do anything,
i just stood there
and stare at that precious face
with tears rolling down
i wanted so much to hold you
to tell you that everything gonna be ok
that i be there for you
i wanted so much to hug you
to say i love you
but i just stood there instead
staring at you crying.

i couldnt help myself
but to cry with you too
secretly i wipe my tears
thats forming in my eyes
not wanting you to see it
i walk to my room
pretending nothing is affecting me
but i was crying in my heart.

it pain me to see those tears of yours
one single tears of yours
worth a thousands of mine
i swear to myself to protect you
but again im such a loser
because you stood there crying
and i didnt console you
instead i let you be.

how i wish i can say something sweet
like,
how much i love you, mummy
how much i care for you, mummy
how much you mean to me, mummy
i just which i could say all that
but then again i failed you
im sorry.

am fucking =(.

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