alert: its gonna be a long word post. if you dont like words, skip mine for today.

hope, dream, desire, goal, and ambition.
have you think about yours?

a simple chill out session after jazno's get-together birthday dinner -- a group of us went to esplanade, made me think if what i think i want in life is what i really want. how sure am i that i really want this?

i wasnt surprise by the question asked by hadrian. we're adults and at certain point of your life, you just have to sit down and think about your life journey. we're not kid that play around 24/7 anymore. besides, i have been thinking about it alot before this. i thought i have everything figured out. yet it seems, theres certain things i wasnt aware. i was rather surprised with myself, my answer and my thoughts right after. the ride home seems fast caused i was drowned in my own thoughts.

while everyone takes turn talking about what they plan to do 3 years for now, i was busy thinking about mine. where do i go from here? whats my dream? whats my goal? do i desire it enough? what do is see myself 3 years from now? and alot more.

have you question yourself: why are you here in this world? or since you're here in this world, what do you want to achieve in life?

i actually forgot about what i want but today, i realized deep down i still want to do what i have been trying to achieved all this while. when hadrian asked me what i want to do actually, my immediate answer is pre/post production. without a second thought or hesitation. i am surprised with my answer and yet it makes me realized, those dreams of mine, they still there somewhere buried. but its STILL there, ironically.

it start with a hope and dreams. different people puts theirs at different thing. some dreams to be a teacher, a pilot, a business man or even a scientist. while some others just want to rule the world. then you get older, your hope and dreams become a goal and ambition. but along the way, many might have a change of thought here and there. you desired it so much that you push yourself too hard to get what you want. while others, they haven't decided on what they want and therefore they took their own sweet time. and then again, you grow. you soon realized, desired, goal, ambition and hard work doesnt equal to the possibility of having what you wanted badly for in life. thats when you finally sees that, you work so that you can pay for you own coffin someday.

not everything in life comes easy. in fact nothing is easy in life. you might work hard all your life but you can never make a name for yourself. but some lucky ones, the earn what they believed in. i am at this crossroad, where i have to buried my real dreams/goals/desired/hopes. maybe for a while, or possible it will forever. i have reached the stage where i will work to pay for my own coffin later in life. well, this stage might come to early for me but yes, i believe thats what i am trying to do now. despite that, i still wants to have a degree and much more. no matter what it is right now, i am taking one step at a time. like david kinda said 'you wont know what life have install for you'. just leave your options open. cause life is unpredictable and full of uncertainty. you might end up sweeping the floor years from now too for all you know. LOLs.

with all that, i try to make the best of what life is. ill continue to do what i love even if its just a hobby. ill continue to work hard to improve myself at it. simply because, its apart of me. no matter how hard i tried to put it aside, its still part of me. therefore, i shall just do what makes me breath and live.

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anyway, love today.
hope jazno also enjoyed his birthday get-together.
hes 40 and old. LOLs.

and ilubyou babylove.
hope you're really happy that everythings good.
HUGS~. XD

and to you,
its not a commitment or a promise.
but we will take this step one at a time.
and see whats there for us at the end of this road.