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hey, whatever.
profile.


nur' asihkin, 22.
october 1st.
rock the boat like you never before.

Disclaimer.
This is a personal blog.
The opinions expressed here represent my own and not those people around me.

Copyright © 2008-2009 nurasihkin. all rights reserved.

talk.


scream.

    follow me on Twitter

    love.

    aisyah
    amanda
    angel
    ashley
    charlotte
    darius
    emily jiejie
    fajarina
    hans
    henry
    inez
    japher
    jingsi
    kiat
    lin
    li yang
    mel
    mich
    nani
    rawbean
    ruiting
    ryan
    shahidah
    sheena
    shushan
    sulin
    wan ling
    wendy
    WGS band
    yinabeh

    past.

    Mar 15, 2008 Mar 31, 2008 May 17, 2008 Jul 18, 2008 Jul 19, 2008 Jul 20, 2008 Jul 23, 2008 Jul 25, 2008 Jul 27, 2008 Jul 30, 2008 Aug 2, 2008 Aug 5, 2008 Aug 8, 2008 Aug 9, 2008 Aug 10, 2008 Aug 12, 2008 Aug 14, 2008 Aug 18, 2008 Aug 24, 2008 Aug 25, 2008 Aug 29, 2008 Aug 30, 2008 Aug 31, 2008 Sep 6, 2008 Sep 10, 2008 Sep 14, 2008 Sep 15, 2008 Sep 21, 2008 Oct 11, 2008 Oct 15, 2008 Oct 24, 2008 Oct 26, 2008 Nov 2, 2008 Nov 14, 2008 Nov 15, 2008 Nov 16, 2008 Nov 23, 2008 Nov 29, 2008 Dec 5, 2008 Dec 9, 2008 Dec 13, 2008 Dec 14, 2008 Dec 16, 2008 Dec 17, 2008 Dec 19, 2008 Dec 21, 2008 Dec 22, 2008 Dec 23, 2008 Dec 25, 2008 Dec 27, 2008 Dec 29, 2008 Jan 2, 2009 Jan 7, 2009 Jan 8, 2009 Jan 18, 2009 Jan 25, 2009 Jan 27, 2009 Feb 1, 2009 Feb 3, 2009 Feb 8, 2009 Feb 12, 2009 Feb 13, 2009 Feb 21, 2009 Feb 22, 2009 Feb 23, 2009 Feb 24, 2009 Feb 26, 2009 Mar 2, 2009 Mar 3, 2009 Mar 7, 2009 Mar 8, 2009 Mar 10, 2009 Mar 11, 2009 Mar 12, 2009 Mar 13, 2009 Mar 14, 2009 Mar 19, 2009 Mar 21, 2009 Mar 22, 2009 Mar 23, 2009 Mar 24, 2009 Mar 25, 2009 Mar 27, 2009 Apr 2, 2009 Apr 3, 2009 Apr 4, 2009 Apr 5, 2009 Apr 7, 2009 Apr 8, 2009 Apr 11, 2009 Apr 13, 2009 Apr 14, 2009 Apr 15, 2009 Apr 17, 2009 Apr 18, 2009 Apr 19, 2009 Apr 20, 2009 Apr 21, 2009 Apr 22, 2009 Apr 23, 2009 Apr 24, 2009 Apr 25, 2009 Apr 26, 2009 Apr 27, 2009 Apr 28, 2009 Apr 30, 2009 May 2, 2009 May 3, 2009 May 4, 2009 May 5, 2009 May 11, 2009 May 12, 2009 May 13, 2009 May 14, 2009 May 15, 2009 May 16, 2009 May 18, 2009 May 20, 2009 May 23, 2009 May 26, 2009 May 27, 2009 May 28, 2009 May 30, 2009 May 31, 2009 Jun 3, 2009 Jun 4, 2009 Jun 5, 2009 Jun 9, 2009 Jun 13, 2009 Jun 21, 2009 Jun 25, 2009 Jun 27, 2009 Jun 29, 2009 Jul 1, 2009 Jul 6, 2009 Jul 13, 2009 Jul 14, 2009 Jul 15, 2009 Jul 17, 2009 Jul 18, 2009 Jul 19, 2009 Jul 22, 2009 Jul 25, 2009 Jul 26, 2009 Aug 8, 2009 Aug 10, 2009 Aug 18, 2009 Aug 23, 2009 Sep 3, 2009 Sep 5, 2009 Sep 15, 2009 Sep 21, 2009 Oct 11, 2009 Oct 18, 2009 Oct 19, 2009 Oct 24, 2009 Oct 27, 2009 Oct 29, 2009 Nov 3, 2009 Nov 6, 2009 Nov 10, 2009 Nov 15, 2009 Nov 20, 2009 Nov 27, 2009 Nov 28, 2009 Nov 29, 2009 Dec 3, 2009 Dec 16, 2009 Dec 18, 2009 Dec 21, 2009 Dec 29, 2009 Jan 23, 2010 Jan 24, 2010 Feb 22, 2010 Mar 6, 2010 Mar 8, 2010 Mar 10, 2010 Mar 13, 2010 Mar 18, 2010 Mar 19, 2010

    find comfort in pain.

    i need to pen this down so that i can get going and move on with life. i find it difficult to tell people my thoughts and feelings. expressing myself can never easy for me. even if i did, it took me all my guts just to say a simple thing. therefore i write it down often. its much more easy to write things down.

    enough is enough. life have to go on and i need to find that little happiness thats left within me -- make the best out of it. i hated myself now. i was never like this before. i fell before. in fact all the time but i never acted this way. i always and used to believe -- whatever happens there must be a reason for it and for that you should take life lightly. laugh at it if you have the chance to and enjoy every single moment. cause life is a cycle -- one moment you're up there happy; enjoying it and the next you're down in hell; trying to climb up. i was never affected by life before this but everything that is happening now really worn me out and i took it hard.

    theres times when i just want to end it myself. i think about death alot and secretly think whats the best way to end everything without suffering. haha. stupid right. i know. im sorry if ive let all of you down but its just too hard for me. i was fucking stress and it causes my health to deteriorate. chest pain and difficulty of breathing -- IM SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION. i didnt want to go to the doctor for no medicine or counselling can help me. only i can help myself.

    im tired of everything now. i just want to take life one step at a time. find myself again and live life they way i want it to be. fill my world with happiness, enjoy life the way i use to do and believe in myself again. ive sorted out my feeling even though im still confused at times. but i dont really want to think about it. no. im not running away. im facing it with a positive attitude now. im climbing up again and even if a fall this time, ill continue climbing. =)

    to all my friends: thanks for always supporting me even though my actions may hurt many of you at times. im sorry that i keep pushing everyone away. it was never my intention. i just want everyone to be happy and not worried about me. mummy always tell me to love whole-heartedly. for every love you showed, never asked to be love back (and for that i never dare to ask much). to give is better than to receive. because i treasure everyone, i dont want any of you to feel the pain im going through. besides, am used to keeping stuff to myself that its very hard for me to open up and let everyone of you in. for the bottom of my heart, i love every single one of you. dont think you're not important to me. every single one of you matters to me. thanks for the attentions you guys showed me, for the love you guys showered me with, for the hands you guys let out so that i can hold on to, for hugs and assuring me that everything will be fine, for the tears you guys let out because of me -- i believed the list can go on. but every single small things you guys do for me, im touched. have always believed im taking this journey alone but today i realised i was never alone because i have all of you with me.

    im not giving up on life even if its giving up on me.

    gonna make things right,
    we shall stick together,
    promise this time im here,
    ill hold your hands,
    and we will walk this road,
    together.
    so take my hand,
    hold me tight,
    we will get by again,
    like we always do.
    this is what love is all about.
    this is what you taught me.
    this is the reason why im still here.
    this is what family is for.
    we will get by,
    this i promise you.
    ------------------------------
    when you told me you were thinking of backing off last night, i was shocked and upset even though i acted as if nothing happened and continue chatting with you. you know i hate it alot so if you ever think of doing it, please tell me early so that i can prepare myself. am still disturb by whatever you wrote. =(
    ------------------------------


    find comfort in pain.
    happiness is not a destination. it is a method of life.