alright i shall blog about this before i go to bed.
pretty tiring day today and my body is aching all over. =\
here a random thought on the way home today.
i enjoy deep thought like this.

BTW, ITS A LONG POST.
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one thing i observed about we humans -- happiness tend to make us forget who we are or fuck care the rest of the world.

what i meant by that?

well, heres a simple question - when you're happy, do you care about the rest of the world? let just forget about the whole world thing. well, do you care about your family or your friends? i believe NOT. thats human. we become a selfish bastard when we're happy and tend to forget where we stand. we care less about the rest as long as we're happy and the road we ahead seem smooth, nothing should makes us feel the pain of others.

its just a human nature i believe and i am not pointing finger at any one right now. this is what i have experience from all this downfall. i am not an innocence bastard too. we're all the same in fact. you, me and even they. sometimes you gets to happy to even remember anything. or when someone tells you their problem when you're happy, you tend to listen half heartedly. which is absolutely rubbish when i start to realized it now. just question yourself, you do ever do that to your loves one? if you did, its time for a change. a change can never happened unless you want it to. and those change cant happened overnight. you need time to adapt to it and you need time to allow yourself to understand the meaning behind all those action. before, things can be registered to you brain and you will act upon it. so better start now. =)

well, it seems like the best way to bring people together would be grief/sadness. its ironic isnt it? when you're happy, you tend to care about yourself only but when theres problem, or sadness in your life you tend to find people to share it with you especially those people you forget during your happy moments. be it your family or your friends.

well, all this experience is sure an eye-opener for me and sure helps to bond my family too. how it helps to bring the best out of each of us. it makes the family stronger. well, we're not a prefect family. each and everyone of us have our own weakness but thru those weakness, we learn. and those bonding that occurs during time like this, its give all of us strength to pull thru -- together hand in hand.

this bonding -- i can never thank god enough. its not a drastic thing but sure a little change does wonder. like the malay always said, sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit. usually, we're talking about money but in this context, it can be apply too. what it mean is (in this context) -- a small act of change will lead to a big ones.

just the other day, brother called my kakak. you may think its nothing but to me its a big thing. imagine having a on/off relationship with your own flesh and blood. well, i know he was angry with me for some reasons all these years. and all along he never called me kakak before. to avoid calling me kakak, he will speak in english or broken phrase. so when the first time he called me that, i was all smile. in fact its the most joyful day i can ever imagine. he called me sometimes now when he will be home late or pop me an sms to asked if i need anything so that he can get it for me on the way home. i am totally thankful for all this little things thats happening and hope that this things will last.

and everything else, will be too. its only the beginning. i want much more than this.

blessing in disguise.


anyway, heres a youtube video.
i really like this minah tudung with guitar.
super cool can. i have new found respect for minah tudung.
damn it, her voice damn nice can.
shes yuna, an indie artist from malaysia.